Custody Tips

October 15, 2019

Going through a custody battle is hard on everyone involved. It is a stressful and unpleasant situation. Regardless of the reason, it is important that you stay calm and composed throughout the process to ensure the best results for your children and yourself. Here are some tips to help you get through it:

Consult with experts before you start a custody dispute. The stakes are high and contrary to what you see on TV, court can be a long and complicated fight.
Write down everything! Start a calendar and write down the children’s schedules, events of the day and which parent is taking on which responsibility. Do this at the end of each day and make the process a daily ritual.
No fighting and drama in front of your children.
If you are dating someone new, do not move in with them until the children are ready for this transition. In fact, wait to introduce your new partner to the children until you are certain of the relationship and the children are emotionally ready. If possible, get on the same page as your ex-partner.
Contact your children’s schools. Many schools have programs for children whose parents are separating or have counseling available to help them deal with the new family dynamics. If not, look into a local counselor to help the children process the change.
Put your hurt/angry feelings aside. If your partner is abusive or not fit to parent, that is one thing, but don’t use your separation to “get even”.
Engage in counseling to help you keep perspective and focus on what is best for your children.
Always put your best foot forward (and keep it forward). Remaining calm is key because you are likely being judged for every move you make.
Don’t give anyone reason to think you are an unfit parent. When in court, dress to impress with clothes that show you have it together and are working hard for your children.
Stay/remain focused at work and engaged in your child’s life.
Be prepared. Do your research so you are familiar with how the law works in your area.
Communicate fully and clearly with your ex, putting aside any ill feelings. This can speed up the process, as you are both thinking of your children first and foremost.
Create consistency for your children by having a plan in place. Set up a schedule with your ex that you are both able to stick to. Be flexible.
Your kids are your #1 responsibility. Make your decisions on what is best for them and never speak poorly about your Ex, little ears can hear you from the next room without your knowing.
When hiring an attorney, choose one that has the experience in family law.

To find out more about how Stenger, Glass, Hagstrom, Lindars & Iuele LLP can help you with your family law matter, visit our page here.